I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize