He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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