just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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