I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
