do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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