My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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