I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
