Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I need moral support for this bender
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
