I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
