They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
