Where did you get a picture of my penis
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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