new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You can't just leave with hair like that
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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