Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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