We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
