I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
