I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
