operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
