it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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