when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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