Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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