sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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