The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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