We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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