she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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