hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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