and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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