so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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