ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
