There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
