I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
