A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
