My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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