I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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