please come you make the beer taste better
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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