Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
