I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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