I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
