Small penises have feelings too.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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