I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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