Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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