you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She's the barista slut.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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