So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
