4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
