my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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