You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
