Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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