garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
