I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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