dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
