As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
