I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize