Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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