Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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