I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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