okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
