How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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