pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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