Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Sober January is a disaster.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
