I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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