i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
