Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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